I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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