is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
