Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
