He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
