somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
