After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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