I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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