Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
