I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Don't EVER smell your tampon
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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