what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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