I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
ttyl tear gas
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
