I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
