And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
