I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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