btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize