he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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