i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
