dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize