McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize