Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
