I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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