i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
