IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize