craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
