He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
