YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
