I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
