he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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