Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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