Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
