There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
