She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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