i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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