My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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