How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
