hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
