then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize