College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
