youre lurking in front of me
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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