Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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