im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize