The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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