worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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