i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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