He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I use my feet as sexual weapons
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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