Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
