Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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