yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Hippo gnu deer
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
