And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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