my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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