bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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