I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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