They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
