I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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