Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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