bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I deserve this hangover.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize