Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize