i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
