Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Randomize
