I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
