would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
