butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
